Fun at the Fun Fair

When Daddy told me that the fun fair was in the town and suggested he takes DS, I looked at him as if he had just fell from the sky right before my eyes!
"Er........sorry say that again" I asked
I felt like sitting Daddy down and gently explain that fun fairs are:
1) Very Noisy
2) Contain lots of over-excited kids (see point 1)
3) Contain lots of squealing kids on rides (see point 1 again)
4) Have lots of people and crowds always produce lots of 'point1'
5) Have lots of flashy lights
6) Are you mad for even suggesting this??

However Daddy made a valid point. He said we are presuming that DS won't be able to tolerate it because of previous experiences but look at what he does tolerate because he enjoys it so much.

He was right.

DS loves swimming. A few times we have been happily swimming away in a nice quiet pool when all of a sudden lots and lots of families, groups etc have comes charging into the pool. They have been shouting and generally loud. I've thought "uh-ho" this is going to be too much for DS but surprisingly he has been okay about it. He still hasn't liked it by no means but because he has been doing a activity he thoroughly enjoys and loves he has been able to tolerate the noise for a period of time.

So I agreed to Daddy's suggestion on three conditions:
1) I have to come as this is going to be a two man job!
2) We have a back up plan if it all goes pear shaped and
3) We get out of there pronto as soon as we can see a hint of distress!

All were agreed and the back up plan was escaping to a quiet and pretty park a short walk from the fair which was familiar to DS.

So off we went. Pulling up in the carpark the music was very loud which DS wasn't happy about but still we got out of the car and proceed to the fair to give it a go.

We both held a hand of DS and slowly and gently guided him around the fair. He was smiling so we decided to try him on a gentle ride which he was okay to go on

He sat beautifully and after getting use to the motion of the ride he started to enjoy it.
As that went smoothly we tried another ride, the mini waltzer

Again enjoyed and was taken by the lights on this ride.
This turned out to be a lovely family experience as DS has never been able to tolerate anything like this before.

Not wanting to push it any further as we seemed to have done well, I suggested that we now went to the quiet sanctuary of the park.
DS played happily on the slides and swing before heading back home whilst Daddy and I talked about how amazing DS is which we always seem to do.

Nothing should surprise me again with this little boy!

Giving a little something back....

As I'm sure most of you that read this will know that parenting a toddler has its tough times. There's the fact that your toddler is very mobile therefore is into everything and zooming around the place like Billy Zoom!
From poking their tiny fingers up the dogs nose to trying to get behind the telly to play with the wires......I understand where the saying 'eyes in the back of your head' came from!


So yep its agreed, toddlers are hard work! Having a toddler with additional needs is extra hard work!

I won't lie to you my friends but daily life with toddler DS was tough with a capital 'T'. I had all the usual toddler stuff as mentioned but I also had behaviours that I was unable to identify. This was pre-diagnosis. His 'odd' behaviour was a bit baffling to me. I quickly learnt that things like hoovering, mowing the lawn or putting the food processor on caused DS to cry, scream hysterically and attempt to trash the house!
The tantrums he would have when we walked into a busy supermarket were unbearable, they would be that bad that I thought he was going to burst out of the straps of his pushchair!

Of course, I can now easily identify the reasons for these things but at the time when I knew nothing of autism or sensory overloads I thought that DS was 'playing up' for me.
I don't think I will ever forgive myself for thinking this of him and mostly for not understanding him during this short time.

My confidence as a parent was seriously dented - I must not be doing a good enough job if my child is constantly throwing tantrums, I became more isolated in the house, I could go on and on......no one seemed to understand or have experienced any of this with their children.

The day DS was diagnosed, Daddy and I walked out of the paediatrician's office and we made a pact together there and then, that priority number 1 would be to ensure that DS would be happy. He would receive encouragement to do a task or activity but no pressure. Happiness would be the key and together we agreed that we would do whatever it took to ensure that.
Three years on from that day I think Daddy and I have successfully kept a smile on our little boy's face as people always comment to us how happy he is.

So on the back of this I have volunteered with my local Carers Centre for a pilot scheme called 'Circle of Friends'.
Circle of Friends sounds fantastic, carers are identified that may need some support so maybe their confidence has taken a little bit of a knock, they have become isolated at home, maybe lack friend or family emotional support. They are buddied up with a volunteer who have some things in common to take them out for a coffee, lunch, accompany them to appointments or support groups etc. My only request was to be buddied up with a carer of autism as obviously I have the most experience and knowledge on this. I expect that I will be able to identify with most of her/his emotions as I would of experienced them myself firsthand, therefore I'm hoping that I will be a good support even if that they have to tell me to shut up and stop talking every so often! *P.S ooops...Im such a chatterbox*
*p.p.s..Im sure you hadn't already noticed that, had you? ;)*

I'm just waiting to hear the date for my induction for this but if I can help another struggling parent just like me then I imagine that job satisfaction does not come much better than that xx

Normal Routine Resumed....

Look at these smiling happy faces

Have you guessed it yet?
Yes that's right, we are both Mums and smiling as our kids have gone back to school! *only kidding!......kind of*

DS is very typically autism, he doesn't like change and can struggle to adapt to it so after getting use to being off school for 7 weeks I was very thoughtful about how I was going to approach the fact that the school holidays were coming to the end.

Knowing that DS was not just only going to return to school, he was going to return to a new classroom including a brand new teacher and some children in his class he probably didn't really know so this was huuggeee! Therefore it was really important that I prepared him, kept his anxiety as low level as I could and most of all I had to get this right for his sake! *pressure! pressure!*

I think its very fair to say that I know DS better than anyone including any professional in the land! I've always trusted what I call my 'motherly gut instinct' with him and have spoken up and disagreed with professionals if I've thought what they were proposing wasn't right for him. So many parents feel they can't or shouldn't do that with someone who is a 'expert' in a particular field but I feel that as you are the parent you are your child's 'expert' in them! You spend 24/7 with them, you play with them, you communicate with him (verbal or not) you know them inside out, you are their voice and the best advocate they will ever have so if you don't agree with something relating to them then its your job to speak up and say what you think is best for them as all children are different and what may be right for one will not necessarily be right for another but hey that's another post altogether!

So yes as I know DS extremely well shall we say! I knew that its best not to start talking about school too soon, maybe a day or two before would be good.

I did attempt to get a picture of his new classroom and teacher but that didn't quite come off *shucks* so instead I very casually and happily mentioned that it was time for school in two more sleeps, DS took this in and concentrated on processing this information.
The next day I mentioned it again in the morning, gave him some time to process it and in the afternoon I started talking about school in more detail. I talked about what to expect, his teacher's name etc - it all seem to be going well.

The night before school, I reminded him again that in the morning was school. I then laid out his uniform for him to see as a more visual sign.

The next morning I got him dressed for school which he let me *hurdle No 1* and happily jumped into his school transport *hurdle No2* and went off which was fab! My prep for him seemed to be spot on! *punches the air with glee*

To be honest I expected a meltdown from him that evening and not any normal run of the mill meltdown, I expected a major house shaking meltdown where the cat runs for her life (I would sometimes go with her if I could!) because he would have endured so much change in one big whammy and possibly too much of a overload for him but to my surprise no. There was no meltdown at all just a very tired little boy.

My own little Holland....

Remember me telling you just before the Summer holidays how my Mum has been encouraging me to take some time out for a few days? and I relented and booked Spain?
Well, now I know that DS was fine and after having a taste of relaxation I also went to Amsterdam earlier this week too!

It was lovely, I wandered around the streets, sat chilling by the canals, sat in cosy little street cafes just watching the world go by, it was so lovely especially with the good weather we had there too!

I just couldn't leave Holland without visiting the Anne Frank Huis although it was very very sad.

It brought home to me how very lucky we are today, I can't imagine what the Frank family went through, the fear they lived in, their lives in the horrendous death camps and Otto Frank surviving Auschwitz to come home to learn that all his family were all dead. Its a very sobering story and one you can't help but feel its presence walking around the secret annexe.

Being in Holland makes me think of the beautiful poem that was written by a parent when she was asked to describe what it was like to be a parent to a child with additional needs.
The first time I read this I was sobbing before I got the end..

 Its beautiful and describes it perfectly!
A few years ago, I was on a Hanen course with several other groups of parents. Their children were on the pathway to be diagnosed with ASC, I was the only parent who child had already received their diagnosis and I took this poem in and read it out.
I also handed each a copy to keep for the 'challenging' days to read as I think its very inspirational.

So yes I loved my visit to Amsterdam but much much more so I loved coming back home to my very own little 'Holland' xx

Fun, Fun, a few meltdowns, a unexpected call of Nature and more fun....

We're over half way of the Summer break and things have been going okay with a few bumpy periods.
DS is coping with it all well although we have had some meltdowns and a few wobbles but all to expected.

Although I'm purposely avoiding taking him to crowded and noisy places we have still managed to get about and do a fair bit.
Our recent adventure was a trip to London!

The reason behind this trip was to visit the British Science Museum in Kensington to see...........washing machines!

Oh yes! This little Aladdin's cave had several of these beauties displaying the first models of the front loader - DS was very impressed!
On the way out DS started pulling at Daddy's arm, we couldn't work out what he wanted then we spotted it! DS has noticed a washing machine hanging from the ceiling and wanted lifting up to it! *the boy does not miss anything*

We then moved on to the water play bit...*which he also bent down and had a drink from the water*

As you can imagine, the museum was heaving with people so we made our way out. We decided to head to the Thames and find a quiet spot to sit and have a ice cream

DS was doing really well but I could see that he at the point where he wouldn't be able to take much more so we started to make our way back to the room. We had almost made it when DS had a major meltdown in Euston tube station!
I would imagine that we got many stares but I wouldn't know as all my attention is on him and trying to calm him down. We eventually made it back to the room which is DS fave part of going away anywhere.

Other things we have been up to are:
Country Walks....well running and Mummy chasing DS!



Hide and Seek:

Fun Days:

Train Rides:

The Fun Day one is a bit of a sore point. At this particular fun day there was a giant inflatable football arena which the children are strapped into. This means when playing football each child can only move so far before being sprung back into their place by a huge elastic band tied around their waist. DS was desperately trying to get into this inflatable which I was stopping him as the game was in full play. DS being the wriggly worm that he is, got free from my grip ran towards the football game, jumped over, pulled down his shorts and had a very long wee in the middle of the game! The children were all shouting "ewww" *very red faced*
I wanted to shout "whos is this little boy"? and then escape back to the car as I saw the children evacuate from the inflatable and the thing being er.....deflated. Instead I took him hand and we left *sad face*
I think we are going to keep a very low profile at the next few fun days!

A lot of things are trial and error with DS, he is my main teacher.
I take my cues from him, some are very subtle, invisible to the 'untrained' eye but I can always spot them and he knows this, he know that Mummy can never miss any of his cues that he gives off.
I'm learning from DS all the time, I have never been given a 'instruction manual' for him as children with autism are all different and unique so I would imagine it would be very difficult to write one anyway.

I think its fair to say that I'm knowledgeable about autism and I'm a expert in DS but that doesn't to say I know everything. Someone once told me:

 "You'll be learning from your child for the rest of your life, you will never get to a point where you know absolutely everything and cannot be taught anything new. It's impossible"

I agree with this.
Raising a child with autism is a journey that I did not plan or forsee when I was planning on starting a family but it is one that I've completely accepted, embraced and will always give my absolute all to.

Fishy Business....

Following on from my last post about DS eating more of a varied diet, I decided (at risk of pushing it too far with him) that I would go a step further and try him with McDonald's Fish Fingers!

Now back in the day when DS ate more than a bit of mid-morning sand and grass snack he would quite happily chomp on these delightful little trio *Mummy thinks happy omega 3 thoughts*

I remember my boyfriend and I taking DS to Disneyland for his 4th birthday and DS refusing to eat a single thing there, he just drank fresh orange juice, I was worried sick he was going to starve as we were there for 5 days!
My boyfriend went off to do a bit of investigating and came back to happily inform me that he had spotted a McDonalds not far from our hotel *yay!* so off we all trotted very excited that DS was going to eat something that I know he would like as this was day 2 of fasting.

I should of known that it was too good to be true, this particular McDonalds served everything but fish fingers, I think I sat and sobbed whilst other diners stared on at me and my boyfiend trying to console me. To be honest how he didn't run a mile from me at that moment  never to contact me again I really don't know *as I blow my nose on his tee-shirt and dry my wet face looking up at him asking is there really no fish fingers here??*

So back at the hotel my boyfriend sat me down with a large wine whilst we thought of a plan! The best one we could come up with was chocolate brownie! Yes we could buy them everywhere, DS liked them so he lived on chocolate brownies for 4 days! *sighs of relief.......well sort of*

Anyway back to what I was saying, yesterday I swung my car through our local drive-thru, ordered fish finger happy meal, popped it next to DS not uttering a word and drove home watching him closely.
DS peered into the box, took out a fish finger, examined it closely, licked it, had a little think then took a bite! I was ecstatic! I was grinning ear to ear and even punched the air *strange looks from people in car next to me whilst queuing at traffic lights*

Im so pleased that DS is eating another food!

Who needs to win the lottery when your child eats fish fingers...........

Food, Glorious Food....or is it?

Many child with autism have what is referred to as sensory integration difficulties.

DS is one of these children.

This is when someone has difficulty in processing sensory information such as sound, noise etc. DS's biggest sensory issue is noise which I often talk about - its is a huge for one for him but he also has others with taste being a close second.

DS has a very limited diet as he can only tolerate around 5 different foods so he practically eats the same thing every day, day in and day out. He is very happy with this whilst Mummy is researching if this is enough for him to gain all his essential vitamins and to keep healthy *slightly worried face whilst frantically searching on laptop*

Trying to encourage him to try something new, he simply pushes it away clearly demonstrating his desire not to do so.

Some children with autism will only eat a certain colour food and will not eating anything any other colour or they can not tolerate their food touching on the plate, everything has to be separate.

DS is typically autism when it comes to this, his 5 foods have to be the same brand, if I was to try him with a different brand he would know instantly and refuse to eat!

Naturally, I've been really worried in the past that DS was losing out on lots of vitamins due to his very limited diet and I have taken him kicking and screaming to see nurses, doctors and dieticians who have reassured me that as he looks healthy, has lots of energy (oh lots and lots by the way!) and is the right weight for his height and age then there is no cause for concern.

So I decided to start chilling out about this a bit, keeping a eye on things but chilling out as DS picks up on my anxieties so I NEED to relax about this before I cause any further problems.

I've been doing well, even seeing DS scoffing sand and seaweed on the beach *immediately gets on laptop again researching the vitamin content of sand and seaweed with some hope* I remained calm and relaxed.

The National Autistic Society says:
Chemical receptors in the tongue tell us about different tastes - sweet, sour, spicy and so on. People with an ASD may experience the following differences.

Hypo

• Likes very spicy foods.
• Eats everything - soil, grass, Play-dough. This is known as pica.

Hyper

• Finds some flavours and foods too strong and overpowering because of very sensitive taste buds. Has a restricted diet.
• Certain textures cause discomfort; some children will only eat smooth foods like mashed potatoes or ice-cream.

About 12 months ago, DS dropped the only two meals he would eat. I was gutted so he lived on snacks, toast and cereal. From time to time I would try him again with these meals but no joy.

However, recently when cooking he would take a interest. He would wander into the kitchen and nosey into the pan to see what it was. I got the feeling he was looking for the 'dropped' meals so that very day, I bought the ingredients and made large batches of these to try him with them again.

I was right!
DS hardly let me dish the food up before pulling on the bowl! He ate 3 bowls of chicken curry before stopping and has been eating it every day!

I'm so glad that these foods are back in his diet *sigh of relief and happy face* and he is getting some more nutrition.

I always remember a staff nurse telling me about his grandson who has autism, he would only eat cake and nothing else! If it wasn't a cake then he didn't want to know. Again, he was healthy, well and had lots of energy.

I've always wondered if a person with autism absorbs the vitamins and minerals from food differently then a typical person as especially in DS's case just a few foods benefit him much more then it would say me........hmmmmm........*frantically gets on laptop to find out more about this*.......

Have a good weekend!