Saturday, 20 April 2013

Happy Birthday....

Yesterday was Daddy's birthday.

DS likes birthdays. He gets them.

He knows with birthdays that there is a cake with candles, we sing the happy birthday song and blow the candles out.

He enjoys them.

So yesterday whilst he was at school I went and bought Daddy a cake and a little present on DS's behalf.

Daddy was going to call in on his way home from work so we could do the birthday celebrations, he would usually have tea with us but couldnt this time as he was attending a charity night.

I told DS that it was Daddy's birthday and showed him the cake.

So when Daddy arrived we got straight to work - DS doing his happy jumping whilst we sang and helping Daddy blow the candles out!
Then DS said 'candle'!
We've not heard him say that word before! He wanted me to light the candles again!
So we did, we sang happy birthday again and DS blew out the candles.

DS said 'candle' another 4 times, so we did it again rewarding him for saying the word but on the last time, I said for DS to sing and he did!

He sang Happy Birthday all by himself! Wow! Wow! Wow! then casually blew out the candles!

We all cheered and said what a clever boy he was! He was very pleased with himself!
What a fantastic day I thought to myself later.......but I had thought to soon.

This is a perfect example of how a great day can turn not so good. I promised that this would be a honest blog of raising a child with ASC and so it will.

Whilst bathing DS, I told him it was time to brush his teeth, he immediately hit my face for no apparent reason. This isnt something he doesnt like doing, he happily accepts this as part of his routine.

I told him 'No'! and continued to brush his teeth, he pinched me.

I got him out of the bath, dried him and as I was putting his py-jamas on he hit me again. I left the room in silence and went into the bathroom.
He followed me in and hit me again but the way he caught me made my face sting, which made me shout at him!

My Mum had to take over for a min, whilst I got myself together.
DS was crying wanting me but everytime I bent down to him to give me a hug he would strike me again.

This is one of the most difficult things for me with DS as I dont feel Ive found a effective way of dealing with this behaviour as of yet.
Ive looked into it many many times and have tried different strategies but none have felt right or felt they had a positive impact on DS.

Ive even tried hitting him back but he laughs and thinks its a game Im playing with him so I stopped that.

The National Autistic Society recommends:

say in a calm, monotone voice, without showing emotion: “(Child’s name) hands down/feet down. No pinching, slapping, kicking” and then redirect them.

which is what Ive been doing for a long time.

This for me is one of the loneliest & distressing parts of parenting a child with autism as its hurtful when your child attacks you as if they hate you.

So today went from a good day to bad day resulting in me going to bed upset.


  1. I hope I can cheer you up after you rubbish day by telling you that you have won my blog giveaway :)
    Just pop your adress to me via email and I will post them off to you very shortly.
    x x x

    1. Aww fab! Thank you and yes you have cheered me up xx