Monday, 27 June 2016

It takes a village...

2016 is proving to be a bit of a year that I will always remember.

It's certainly giving me some welly! Chucking challenges at me from all angles and in relation to a multitude of stuff!

I am holding my own though! :) Wine, chocolate and a 'kick ass' attitude seems to be the key to staying afloat with it all......but not forgetting to mention my lovely, lovely friends who really along with my amazing DS are the main ingredient to how I am even still smiling! :)

On Saturday, a bunch of these lovelies took me out to support me and to give me a giggle.
Forget the giggle, it was a belly laughter and roaring day! - I thought I was going to bust a gut!

I've always known that laughter is the best tonic, It releases all them feel good hormones - my body was flooded with endorphins!

This provoked me thinking about other areas of life that women (and of course men) may struggle with and how we can support each other.

It got me thinking about raising our children.

Typically, we raise our children either as a single parent family or whilst one parent works full time - this leaves the children with just the one caregiver to meet ALL the needs of the child as well as everyone else!

Bit of a tall order eh....?

When raising a child on the autistic spectrum, then that child's needs can be extremely demanding.

The saying....

"It takes a Village to raise a child"

suggests that there isn't meant to be just the one caregiver, there's meant to be a community of us, a team each giving something to the children.

When you think about it, actually think about it, then it's impossible for us to meet every single one of our children's needs - though, if you are like me, you still have a pretty good try at doing it, but you are never going to and all you achieve is a burnt out, frazzled and knackered Mum! (I am specifically referring to me again...)

What we do know, what generations have taught us, is that families thrive when part of a family, a community.
We are not meant to live in isolation or parent in isolation.

My childhood memories are flinging open my back door and running the 200 yards over to my Aunty Vicky's (my Dad's Aunty) to bake with her and ask her to make me her gravy! (I absolutely loved her delicious gravy!)

My Nan lived on the same street as us and my older cousin lived two streets behind us so again I was always running over there to play too!

I certainly feel that I grew up part of a wider family and have fantastic memories of this!

DS and I, as the parent now, are still part of a wider family.
Since he was born, my parents have been very hands on and he was happy and comfortable with them just as he was with me.

My Mum moved to be closer to me and DS and continues to take an active role in his care.

She is one of my main supports of the whole structure.

We are certainly not meant to do it all, ALL THE TIME.

I think it's so beneficial to surround your children with a family/community of role models to take collective responsibility to raise a child.

And a little bit of a relief that parenting isn't meant to be as hard as we sometimes make it or as lonely as we can make it and that we know is the truth!

I hope I have triggered some positive thought provoking here.....:)

Have a great week!

Love Amanda xx

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