It's been a rough week this week and that's putting it mildly.
The week started off with a 2.30am A&E visit with DS but thankfully he seems to be much better now.
I've got some major concerns and issues in regards to DS which is rolling into other things like school and clubs :( I will go into those concerns and what's happening with it all another time, I'm just not ready to quite yet.
As I write, I can often forget that other people read this blog as I seem to use it as a 'dear diary' type of tool which isn't a bad thing in some ways I suppose :)
Stress, stress and a bit more stress has been hanging around me this week.
I have very much felt its presence in everywhere I have gone to and everything I have done!
I have mentioned before how busy my days are but this week I have felt that I have had to chase the days, playing catch up and just about keeping my head above water!
As a result, I have been a bit forgetful, nothing major but going to the shops for something and leaving with other stuff other than what I went in for!
I know everyone has done that but I've been doing it at a ridiculous level!
This morning after dropping DS off to school, I took my car to get new tyres.
It's about 40 minute drive to my favourite tyre guy but well worth it as he does brand new tyres at such good value! So with four brand new tyres on my car, I drove away.
Now whenever I'm in a town and time permitting, I like to have a good nosey around the charity shops. I have a good idea where they all are in Cheshire towns now, so I parked up and walked around.
I decided last night that it would be in my best interests to clear my diary for today so I had the time to chill a bit and go at a slower pace.
I just love charity shop browsing and I actually kick myself for not discovering it in my teenage years!
As I'm drawn to pretty much anything vintage, you can imagine my face lighting up every time I discover something with a vintage-y feel to it especially of its something that we use to have when I was a child! :)
I felt that after such a stressful week then I needed to do something that made me happy and just to take some time out for myself.
As I was walking around, my tummy was rumbling which reminded me that I hadn't eaten tea last night or breakfast this morning (too stressed out!) the cold wind was howling making my hands cold so I looked for a little vintage teashop that I could grab a cup of tea from.
It wasn't long before came across this cottage one which looked so cute so I went in.
It was pretty quiet and so pretty inside with lots of original and cottage features.
I sat by the window and watched people rushing past in the wind.
It felt really nice just to sit and do nothing (apart from start writing this post!lol) and to think or worry about anyone but myself for 20 minutes.
I was miles away deep in thought and though I faintly could hear a voice in the background, I had no idea that the waitress was stood right by me asking me what would I like?! That's how far away I am in my thoughts right now! lol
I apologised and ordered a pot of tea and homemade tomato soup ;) those who follow me on Instagram will know how I love making my own soups :) this one was very good :)
I realised a long time ago, that not only looking DS is mega important but looking after me is too.
I need to be well and fighting fit in order to deal with all the challenges that a child with autism will bring from time to time.
I am sure that we are now entering into another challenging period and like the others before, I need to tackle it and get over it.
Sitting in that teashop today and doing nothing was glorious! Being on my own meant that I was able to think properly. I'm sure that I need to do more of that a little more often!
In some ways, I wonder if I need to simplify stuff around me. Am I involved in too many things?
The answer is probably yes but at the same time no.
That is a difficult one.
You see, as a parent of a non-verbal child with autism and learning disabilities, I can never really relax. I am always watching and monitoring his behaviour to the clues to what he is trying to say. To ignore that would be like ignoring someone when they are trying to have a conversation with you!
Because I have first hand experience of parenting like this then I do my best to help other parents in similar situations. I can't not.
The problem with that, is that I sometimes get too involved. I want to take on peoples battles and go in there to present their case myself! All the time DS is in my mind which is my driving force for pretty much everything I do.
I am getting better at that bit now though lol
So with it being Friday, I am going to end this rubbish week with a large glass of wine and a positive outlook for the weekend!
Have a lovely weekend and stay safe in Storm Jonas!